During my time in Seattle, I had the good luck sharing my hotel room with a student I got along with very well. He and I are similar in our outlook on many things, and although we share different backgrounds, we found our experiences with marginalization and personal identity were uniquely similar. My roommate, Jonoven, is a straight black man, and I am a queer white man. We both experience societal power in two areas of this identity: Jonoven, in his heterosexuality and his gender and I in my race and gender. What was unique to us was our lack of experiences with serious marginalization relating to our minority statuses. Through this uniqueness of identity, we built an accord and had a plethora of in-depth, fascinating conversations. What follows is a transcription of an interview I conducted with Jonoven after we returned from Seattle.
Aaron: Did your understanding of diversity change this semester?
Jonoven: Yes, it did. Coming in, my idea of diversity was… my idea of diversity I guess opened up. I have a broader understanding of sexual diversity now. Diversity is deeper than sitting with likeminded people. It’s about making community with people of different perspectives.
Aaron: Yeah, definitely. I remember, too, you said to me one night you defined diversity as like
not just a room full of different people, but like these people who are different need to be
communicating with each other. I thought that was insightful. So how did you relate, or not,
the culture in Seattle?
Jonoven: Overall, I was a big fan of the culture in Seattle. People were nice and welcoming. As
Far as the gay culture. Um… I don’t know. I don’t really think I was immersed but I saw it and it
was visible there it seems as though people were comfortable who they are, which is different than the South. Diverse cultures are integrated into community culture there.
Aaron: I agree! What did you learn about LGBTQ+ culture that was new information to you?
Jonoven: Everything was new. I learned what cis and het meant. I learned that sexuality is more
than just who you are attracted to. It plays a large part in the way you carry yourself and the
way the world interprets you and the way you interpret yourself.
Aaron: I just think it’s really cool out you were there for all of it, and you were so open to
everything we told you, but at the same time you weren’t afraid to ask questions and kind of
challenge us, too. I definitely appreciated hearing your perspective on everything. Like you saw
that even amongst the queer people in the class, opinions and perspectives are different. Aside
from learning about the gays, what did you learn about your values through that experience?
Jonoven: I definitely learned how much I value, I guess, acceptance. I value walking around
smiling and having people smile back. But, as I observed, it’s not like that for everyone. It made
me realize how much I value my privilege. I was shown that community is not inclusive for all.
Aaron: What was the most surprising thing you did or saw?
Jonoven: Seeing the homelessness population of the north west. I don’t want to get too
political, but those are the democrat meccas of America [Portland and Seattle]. Equality for
everyone. Everyone has right to housing, food, education. I didn’t know humanity could exist
like in the open.
Aaron: Definitely a fair assessment, I think. To that point, I think a lot of people also end up in the northwest, and the west in general, because of the social welfare programs that are offered. Definitely the housing costs are out of control, but I think you see people move over there when they’re experience homelessness or addiction because the environment is also less harsh. For better or for worse. How did that impact your experience?
Jonoven: It was a wake up call. It showed me what was… I mean I was able to put my actual eyes on what was real. It was real life. It wasn’t a video.
Aaron: Yeah, I think for you and a lot of the others that was a really important part of the whole trip. Definitely down in Norfolk and southern VA you don’t really see stuff like that, but like you said I think it’s really important to see. It makes you more empathetic. What was the hardest adjustment for you?
Jonoven: Yeah I had to adjust to being in a group of gay people for a week.
Aaron: (laughs) You did SO WELL. Was anything embarrassing for you?
Jonoven: Yeah for sure. Getting weird looks.
Aaron: And see, I didn’t notice that. But I think we honestly stuck out anyways. We were way louder than everyone else. At one point Alison mentioned to use we had “East Coast voices”. Okay. Last two. How are you different?
Jonoven: I’m aware. I feel like I’m woke. I now recognize my privilege. The things other go through just for being who they are. I am more aware for sure.
Aaron: How are you different?
Jonoven: I still view the world as a friendly place. Others and strangers I view as friends regardless of differences. I understand that me being awoken by how ignorant I was to everything that other people aren’t assholes, they’re just ignorant.
Aaron: Honestly that’s my belief. I think most people are coming from a good place, but it can be very, very flawed. Okay. Thanks dude!
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